Sunday, March 22, 2009

Is THIS What Prom Is In Dayton Ohio?

Look what I found on my camera... Crazy Prom Dresses!!!!!

I was wandering around a local bridal salon recently with a friend of mine who is getting married soon. Her task - find a wedding dress. My task - offer moral support and steer her clear of any bad gown decisions. While I was excited for my friend, I was equally as enthralled with the collection of super crazy "you must be smoking crack if you pick this" prom dresses.

I don't know about you, but back when I was in high school in the '90s the last place you wanted to look for any school dance, Prom or not, was a Bridal Salon. That doesn't mean that you can't find the perfect "Cinderella" dress - you absolutely can. Just know that Prom really does not equal Cinderella.

When I was a Sophomore in High school I was invited to the Prom by a senior (you couldn't go unless you were invited by a senior or were a senior at my school). Not knowing any better, my mother and I chose a dress from a Bridal Salon. I was pretty much the only person with a giant skirt at the entire Prom for a class of 400 + people. I looked great, but I will never live that down - I had to sit on the floor of the limo because there was no room for my skirt. Going to the bathroom was a nightmare, to say the least. However, I loved every single second of wearing that dress. To me, at the time, it was PERFECT. I view it now as a total fashion blunder.

Ladies, if you have daughters or are going to have daughters a good rule of thumb is that if it needs a petticoat or a hoop skirt chances are you are probably not choosing something that is in style and extremely impractical. Their ARE exceptions, but this is just how it is.

For whatever reason, Bridal Salons continue to stock the most outrageous dresses. I know that wayward souls occasionally pick them up, and the future supermodels out there can look fantastic in them, but I just can't honestly see these really making money. Seriously. Would you want to look like a drag queen at Prom?

Exhibit A:

See The Detail in the Original Size

What an incredible dress! Yes, it's orange. Yes, it's displayed with Pink shoes. Yes, those are feathers around the skirt. Now I know Alexander McQueen put forth that truly amazing feather dress for a bridal gown a while back but I never expected to see the translation to the "real world" this way (see the dress and Project Runway copycat Kenley's dress on FashionObsession101). I personally do actually love this dress, but really it's much more in that "inner drag queen" sort of way. Would I choose it for Prom? Heck, no!

There were other, arguably worse, offenders.

Exhibit B:

Original Image

This dress is a normal color, doesn't have nearly the gaudy feathery goodness of the previous dress but why do I find it to be a worse offender? The fabric! It was totally irredecent in person (you can see it a little in the original image) and felt a little bit like plastic or vynil. There was definately a rubbery componant to it. I remember the same type of fabric being used on my She-Ra characters from the magical land of Endor as a child. Why in the world would you want so much of it? It's doll fabric! They must have intended this for the girl who always dreamed of growing up to become Crystal Barbie. Yes, you know who you are.

I wish I had gotten more pictures of the treasures burried within the racks of this salon, but I was there for my friend. I hope that when she goes back to pick up her dress I'll be able to go with her and take a few more pics of everything I missed.

Would it be wrong of me to go back when I've lost enough weight and try on a few just for fun and enjoy the fugliness?

Yeah, it probably would be wrong.

My snide comments asside ultimately, the prime rule for Prom shopping is this: It doesn't matter what YOUR perfect Prom Dress is. If your heart is set on a dress, get it. It's all about YOU.