Sunday, May 17, 2009

Retro Swimwear at Anthropologie

Little gems like this that make Anthropologie so much fun to make fun of:

Anthropologie - Essaouira by Red Carter $178

I understand the philosophy here: If you don't have much on top, add ruffles to give you the illusion of just a little bit more. It just reminds me of little girl's swimsuits, the kind your parents would buy if you weren't swimming on a swim team. But the prints! In what universe do those actually look good together? I'm not about to pay $168 dollars for a swimsuit that looks like I ripped apart really bad curtains and horrible upholstery. Reminds me of the cheap prints I occasionally pick up from JoAnn Fabrics to quilt. Usually I end up cutting up all the pieces and never sewing it together because I realize that just because I could get fabric from JoAnn's doesn't mean I should.

Then there's this:

Anthropologie Peaks and Valleys by Hayden-Harnett Halter: $88 Boyshorts: $88

Looks like mens boxer briefs with scales. What is it with scales? The bottoms on this remind me of that crazy anthro sweater I saw a long time ago. It's not even the same designer - that I could at least understand. But it's not just the bottoms. The top looks like it would duct tape your chest flat. That's not a very flattering look.

But enough about what I don't like. There are plenty of items I loved looking at Anthropologie's Swimwear offerings. I can't wear any of them right now, much less fit into them. But I love bikini-browsing.

The Bikinis
Just a note: I really hate it when designers price their bottoms and their tops separately when there's no possible way you could get them to match with anything else. This is a ridiculous knee-jerk reaction from me - I know just because you're a size 8 on top doesn't mean you're a size 8 on the bottom. So it's really very smart. But when you're talking about bikinis that cost this much, I can't help but think "You priced those separate because you wanted to be able to charge twice as much, didn't you"?


Anthropologie - Epic Journey by Salinas Top: $68 Bottom: $58

For absolutely no rational reason, I like this suit. The bottom's too small. The top is too impractical. The print has tiny winged insects on it. But I still love it.

Anthropologie - Vargas by Rachel Pally Halter: $98 Bottoms: $98

I'll admit. I had to include this just because of the name of the suit. Vargas brings to mind all pictures of the very sexy-glamorous Vargas girls. I don't know about you, but I always want to be that sexy when I'm in a swimsuit.

It also reminds me of the MAC Naughty Nauticals collection from last year. Makes me want to don a crazy sun hat and big red lips:

Image found on BellaSugar

This suit has the same retro feeling with a different print that I personally find a lot more appealing:

Anthropologie - Buri by Salinas Bottoms: $98 Top: $68

I'm not usually a fan of skirt pants, but sometimes they can look really cute. I think it's all about the length and if it gives that peek-a-boo feel.

Don't like bikinis?


Anthropologie - Deckwork by Kushcush $188

I love the structure in the bodice of this suit. I also love the cut out. Very cute.

Or you could go a little more daring...

I'll admit - I would never wear a suit like Outeniqua. It draws attention to all of the places I want to avoid drawing attention to. But that color is fantastic!

Another suit with a fantastic color...

If I were to purchase any suit on Anthro for myself it would be Lake Ripples. I love the way the neckline is designed and the color is just incredible. It looks a bit like it would have relatively good support "for the girls" too.

Right now any of these would look hideous on me and I don't intend to subject you, my readers, or anyone else to me in a suit. But I just think they are so fun. Can you imagine having to design swimsuits? How in the world do you cover up problems in a garment that is meant to expose you as much as possible? I don't envy swimsuit designers the task. But I do think most of them like to pretend people like me don't exist. Oh wait - that's the entire fashion industry! That's right...

So what are your favorite suits of the season?