Wednesday, April 27, 2011

What NOT to say to a partner who is going through a fitness journey...

Spouses, partners, boyfriends, girlfriends... take notes!  You may be jealous, you may be a little passive aggressive, you may feel guilty that you aren't in as good of shape as they are getting. If your significant other is going through a weight loss or fitness journey, there are certain things you just shouldn't say to your partner!

Stuff my husband says:
  • "I lost 8 lbs last month, but I didn't mean to."
  • "You still take up too much space on the couch."
  • "So do you want to start trying to have kids now?"
  • "Eh, Gap jeans always get loose."
  • "So will you wear the school girl skirt now?"
  • "How much longer until you can wear that bikini you wore on our honeymoon?"
  • "The living room smells like a gym."
  • "You're such a calorie freak."
  • "Will power!" (in response to a food situations).
  • "Quit buying so much stuff!" 
  • "Here, try this." (piece of food)
  • "I went to lunch to day at (favorite restaurant) and I feel like a fat happy bastard now."
  • "I hate tofu."
  • "You have incisors! Use them!"
  • "I still have probably have a lower percentage of body fat than you."
Ok, just had to get that off my chest. You understand I'm sure. Maybe I'll write separate posts addressing the particular issues that I think are the most problematic, telling you my thought process, and a good solution or another way to express the thought.

Rant over! :)


    1. Oh geez!

      My deadlift dropped off to a staggering degree (and everything else to a lesser degree) right after our last vacation (which I should not have counted as a rest week since it was not restful!), plus I've been in a calorie deficit. I have been trying really hard to work back to my old max without mentally beating myself up too much. Last night my husband cheerfully declared that he hasn't lost any strength despite not working out for weeks. Thanks honey!

      Must be nice to be a dude. :)

    2. Love this post! Vent it out! You rock girl, keep up your hard work! My husband recently lost 35 lbs (though he was trying)... however it's hard to see it be so easy for him and not for me!

    3. Aww, this post makes me want to give you a hug! I have no significant other at the moment, but I'm sure if my ex and I were still together, he'd say stuff like that (and maybe even meaner stuff).


    4. Amber - For real! I'm hearing you there!!! :)

      ChaosButterfly - I don't think they were meant as mean spirited as they came across, but yeah. I thought so.

      Kimi - I know right? It just gets under my skin when I hear comments like the first one I mentioned. I LOVE it when my husband loses weight. I feel good for him. Just I don't want to hear how easy it is. (Incidentally, he said that WHILE I was working out).

      Whateveramber - Thanks! Hug accepted. :) I once read that couples have a hard time when one is working out and the other isn't. I suspect I'm seeing a lot of that lately, hence the vent.

    5. You go tell that man the same thing I told mine when he kept offering me cupcakes....
      "You know you couldn't do my workout for a week and not eat garbage!" Then walk away going *cough* spare tires aren't sexy *cough*

      Mine is now working out again! lol

    6. I feel for ya.I had one of my people forgive me for getting fat....another one ask why I waited till I got so fat till I started to lose weight...and my favorite"Well not everything looked bad in you.
      And this was coming from people who's husbands were truly fat or truly bald or in Lyndsey's case fat,bald and gone :D.
      I think some people just get nervous when their friends or spouses start to improve themselves.They are afraid they need to keep up or or risk being left behind.
      You can either take what he says with a grain of salt,oops I meant healthier sea salt,or point out that the the guys staring at you on the strip seemed to appreciate all your hard work...

    7. Oh no. That sucks. But ignore things like that which he says. You can do it on your own and you can work out by yourself.

    8. What An absolute ass. No one deserves to be talked to that way, even if the person thinks they are joking or helping. I hope you stood up for yourself and said something.

    9. Evil Angel - Yeah I tried that. Sadly, I am not quick witted enough to banter with him on the "insult" level. He shreds me.

      Adam - If I had noticed the guys staring at me on the strip I would have used that to my advantage. :) Anyway, most of this was written before Vegas. We'll see if the hubs changes his attitude post-trip.

      Cheryl - That's exactly what I'm doing!

      Me - He can be an ass, but so can I. I do my best to stand up for myself, but he's very fast with retorts, so in general I have to just ignore him and keep going with what I'm doing. *sigh*

    10. MartianDelights - True, but he is supportive in other ways. He does most of the cooking in the house and that has changed to fit my lower calorie/healthy needs. He just gets on my nerves with some of these comments!

    11. I know... I think even the most supportive of men seem to have that thing about when their partners are dieting... My hubby's the same. He's a darling, but he's always buying cookies when I try to eat less... my answer to the problem? I have put him on a diet too ! And funnily enough I tend to lose more weight than he does ! And as a revenge I make him eat absolutely truckloads of veg HAHA !

    12. MartiainDelights - I'm trying to train Mr. Styrch to like Tofu... that's just a start. :)


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