Friday, October 7, 2011

Reality Check: I am NOT a Machine! The pressure needs to go away...

Thank you to all of you who have been reading me over the last few years. I want to say that first and foremost. Never forget that I value you as a reader. You've indulged me, pushed me, and supported me in my ever changing quest for becoming a better ME. Thank you.

As you have most likely noticed, over the last few months my posting has decreased significantly. There are a few reasons for this:
  • I have been more focused on my weight loss and fitness than I have on this blog. While fitness is a part of this blog, I know that most of you started reading me for nail polish, not for weight loss. And... I haven't been doing my nails as often.
  • I don't want to spend as much money on beauty products that I'll use once for review, then put aside forever. It's a ridiculous practice and one I've been doing for far too long. It needs to stop.
  • The pressure to produce (though self-created) has had me TIRED. I work all day in front of a computer. It's hard to come home and then do THIS (after the workout, of course). I don't want this blog to feel like a second job. EVER.
I acknowledge these things. I want you to know them too, that way I don't feel as guilty.

My original goals for this blog were to post about what I wanted to post about. Soon that became a race to get readers. That meant having to post A LOT - multiple times a day, etc. But this is not consistent with my LIFE goals, nor is it really fair to you. For me to put out that much content would give you pretty crappy posts. And I have written a LOT of crappy posts! I don't want to write crappy posts!

This blog is an outlet for me to share my passions. I need to continue to do that for this to be good and productive for myself and for you the reader (I hope). If that means I'm not using the latest and greatest makeup and accessories, so be it. I'm going to start shopping my stash - there's nothing wrong with that is there?

I've noticed a trend, and will acknowledge my mistake now:
For a very long time I did not receive PR samples. Then suddenly, there they were. I got excited, and felt so grateful I had to write a post on what I was sent. My mistake: I tend to blog about what I'm sent for free more than what I buy and what I use.

There. I said it. And I am ashamed.

I feel an obligation if a company sends me a polish collection (for example) to swatch that first before putting on the color I really want to wear, or practicing makeup techniques I want to try. As a result, the color I really want to wear never gets worn or featured because I don't have the time. That is WRONG and it has to stop. When I write a review, it should be because it's something I feel is worth of reviewing - positive or negative. Not just because someone sent it to me for free. How I get what I review shouldn't matter in my prioritization for putting something on here, should it? I doubt it matters to you my reader so why should it matter to me?

Note to PR: I always feel honored when you send me something. You could have chosen someone else, but you chose me. But not everything that gets sent to me for free does get reviewed. I want that to be clear. I'm only one person. I have a full time job. Sometimes, even when you send me stuff I love I don't get to posting it in the time I want to, or at all. And I feel bad about that. I do apologize.

My New Promises To YOU ALL
  • I will be spending my money only on the items I need and want.
  • "Limited Edition" status will no longer hold sway over me. If I don't need it or want it, I'm not getting it!
  • I will no longer feel pressure to post entire collections of nail polish unless I want to do so.
  • I will not be prioritizing reviews of things I have been sent over things I want to talk about. 
  • I WILL only be writing about what I really want to write about.
  • I WILL continue to give you my truthful opinions. 
  • I WILL NOT let myself feel pressure over this blog!
This is supposed to be fun, not work. Right?

Pressure results in less passion. I need to let go of some of the pressure to regain some of my passion,  to make it a better blog experience for myself and for you.
How these Changes Affect THIS Blog
Me stating this really doesn't affect this blog in any way shape or form. But I'm not going to beat myself up if I let this sit for a few days.

I bow down to the blogs that can consistently post, that have the cash and/or sponsors that allow them to be more thorough. The "Great Ones" who are able to live on  no sleep,  who sacrifice having a life for their blog and love it. I am not one of those bloggers. I am, in many ways, one of the masses. I'll leave the power blogging to those who can handle it (and do handle it very well). I'm far better being me than trying to be something else.

Like I said, this probably doesn't affect this blog at all. But I sure feel a lot better saying all of this and getting it off my chest!

Thank you!