Monday, April 15, 2013

Quest For My Pretty - Why the Ticker is Gone...

Have you ever had something that is meant to celebrate your accomplishments become a nag? Well, that's the Ticker for me. On top of making it difficult to make NEW tickers I started to realize that the amount of self-loathing I've had looking at that thing over the past months was making it difficult to move beyond it and get back to what is important for me.

And being healthy is very important to me.

This time last year I was where I am now:  up in weight and hating myself for it. Only instead of being 20 lbs off my goal (like last year), I'm not 40 lbs off my goal. I swore I'd never see the number 171 again, much less 191. So yes, the ticker makes me feel like a failure. And I'm not. I've just had very different priorities for the last half a year.

For the last six months I've I've been battling my own anxiety and depression again. I've been working on making my relationship with my husband the best that it can be. I've been nurturing dreams other than fitting into THAT dress.

This time I hope to keep my anxiety over following my program to a minimum. Because it's really not healthy for me to beat myself up over missing a workout, while I advise others to accept it and move on to tomorrow and not make the same mistake twice.

It's time to ditch the Ticker.

It's also time to start anew, begin my journey again.

Thank you for understanding.